Those scorched by love claim dating is a fools game, a crap shoot, a game of chance where the odds are stacked against them. Many claim dating is a fruitless search, a hit-and-miss proposition. What’s initially filled with hope, burns to rubble.
Most relationships start out well, but far too often, they turn out disappointing, as one becomes disillusioned by its future potential. Then they think love stinks, love sucks.
Yet, most singles will continue to put out massive effort, time, and energy into discovering every possible option, to save this love.
Despite all of the setbacks, what they keep searching for is finding that right person, that fabled soulmate.
What’s remarkable, is how some continue to find the resilience and the optimism to keep trying.
To Refine The Process
What life presents are a host of other demands, so it pays to narrow down the best methods that work. Focusing on what’s less painful, such as online dating.
What online dating profiles does, is attempts to offer the best accurate first impression, where every hopeful lovelorn subscriber becomes exposed.
So whether it’s online dating, a blind date from mutual friends or family, as all options are tried.
Then there are the chance encounters at the laundromat, the nightclub, which can work out or quickly fizzle out.
What’s for certain, is that most relationship seekers will try every possible option.
Try And Try Again
What’s known for certain is most of these attempts to find love, to find a long term romantic partnership, usually fails.
So what needs to be determined are the underlying factors why, which should result in finding success.
Answer the following questions with a “Yes” or “No” as honestly as you can:
1. Has the person in any of your past relationships, turned out to be who you thought they’d be?
2. Are you often attracted to those who you know are “out of reach?”
3. Does the qualities you initially look for in a person, remain the same in the long run?
4. Do you find it important, your partner wants to impress others?
5. Is the partner that you want, currently available within your dating options?
6. Are you honestly being realistic, when it comes to getting what you really want in a partner, based upon what you as a person has to offer?
7. Are the choices you make, based more on romantic myths and expectations, rather than pragmatic hopes?
If your answers to the questions 1, 3, 5, and 6 happened to be “No,” while questions 2, 4, and 7, were “Yes,” then you’re much less likely to find a successful partner.
The reason for this, is because we humans by instinct are negotiators.
There’s Always Someone Better
We’re programmed to make deals with others. The best trades are those that work out well for both. At times they do, but more often they don’t.
The biggest issue is most believe they can make a better deal, there’s always someone better.
For instance, what they have to offer, is worth a lot more over time, than what it may initially appear to be.
What they’re wanting, is the other person to trust in the investment.
We Aim Higher Than We Should
What we constantly do is look for love in all the wrong places, or it could be the wrong time in theirs, or our lives.
It could be our well-intended friends who are giving us the impression, we are more marketable, more desirable than we actually are.
Maybe we moved away from a location, from where there were a lot more single people, to a place where there were less singles.
It’s possible some relationship seekers, happen to be worth more in one market, than another.
The Search Continues
For the majority of singles who aren’t successful, attempts to find a love the same way they always done.
Or they search, chase or invest in someone, who’s similar to their previous relationships, thinking that’s their “type.”
They would most likely be more successful, if they knew exactly who they want, while being realistic on who they can get, and what they have to offer.
If they knew the exact profile on their next partner, then they’ll have a better chance on finding a compatible match.
Continuing To Believe Perfect Love Exists
If you’re looking for a long term relationship, it then becomes crucial you don’t have a firm rigid template.
This becomes especially true, if you’ve been previously repeatedly disillusioned, by those who appears to be what you want early in the relationship.
But this new love of your life, always ends up disappointing you in the long run.
Perfect love isn’t possible, because what it does is alters and transforms itself as life challenges presents itself. There’s are no preset templates, which guarantees love.
The Ideal Long Term Relationship
There are certain traits most long-term relationships have in common. They usually don’t have the “ideal” characteristics of their perfect mate, but what they do is alter over time.
Long-term partners are excellent sensitive flexible understanding people, in the majority of the things they do.
They’re authentic, accountable, forgiving, resilient, they constantly focus on the solutions, rather than the problems.
The Ideal Mate
What they do is treasure what they have, not interested in wasting time, not interested in repeated negative interactions. They’re supportive while not being possessive.
What they do is rise to the occasion when there’s unexpected crises, as they’ll continue to build whatever is broken.
They learn from their mistakes, while they’ll innovate when they’re stuck.
The closer you become to refining these characteristics yourself, the better the chances are you’ll attract someone who’s equally as desirable, regardless of the odds.